“Don’t Buy More, Just Be More!” As much as our culture wants you to believe, material success does not equate to happiness. As I discussed in “Being Happy during the Happy Holidays,” authentic happiness cannot be measured by a price tag. In fact, researchers Ed Diener of the University of Illinois and Martin Seligman from the University of Pennsylvania in 2010 published findings in the journal Psychological Science in the Public Interest that while U.S. wealth has tripled over the past 50 years, our national wellbeing and happiness have been flat. It’s just as the famous line from The Beatles goes, “Money can’t buy me love.” While having material and financial stability are vital for your way of life, the point is that the real indicators for happiness are not found in your bank account, stock portfolio, or the size of your car or house. Rather, focus on what truly is of value in your life—family, friends, loved ones, and enjoying life! Studies conducted by Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky at UC Riverside show that people who are happiest also have strong social connections and deep personal relationships with friends and family. We humans are social animals, after all. We need to feel a sense of belonging and connection to the greater whole. So the next time you get stressed, feel anxious about finances, or worry that you can’t afford that luxury car or home, remember that the real treasures in life, the love of our family and friends, are free!
“Gratitude is a Healthy Attitude” Expressing gratitude for what you have, no matter how small it is, can also contribute to your greater health and happiness. In the past few years, scientists now recognize that gratitude is one of the most powerful and healthiest of human emotions. Studies at University of Miami, UC Davis, and other universities successfully demonstrate that remembering to be grateful for what you have in life can greatly outweigh any sadness, stress, or challenges you might currently experience. Further discoveries in neuroscience suggest that when you experience gratitude, the left pre-frontal cortex of the brain, an area that correlates to emotions of love and compassion, begins to activate. As I like to say, “Gratitude turns WHAT YOU HAVE into enough, creates contentment for WHAT IS, and manifests greater joy for WHO YOU ARE!” If you can’t express gratitude for what you already have, how can you expect to be grateful for all the prosperity and abundance that awaits you in 2012! Read more on gratitude in “Cultivating an Attitude of Gratitude”
“Practice Compassion and Kindness” As His Holiness the Dalai Lama often says, “If you want to be happy, make others happy!” In the past two decades, research into the human brain has discovered that we possess a peculiar thing known as a mirror neuron. Scientists know believe that these mirror neurons are the reason why humans, along with certain primates, elephants, dogs, and dolphins, are biologically wired to experience the emotions of others. Mirror neurons suggest that the human brain has evolved to experience both the pain and euphoria of others. It is this biological conditioning that may account for human empathy and compassion. Brain scans reveal that expressing more compassion and kindness helps you develop these mirror neurons, and it is this notion of compassion and empathy toward others that ultimately allows you to experience greater happiness and wellbeing on a daily basis. So the more kindness you practice toward people, the happier they become and the happier you become! Learn more about mirror neurons and the mind in “The Neuroscience of Health and Happiness."
“Keep Thinking Good Thoughts” Did you know that it takes at least FIVE good thoughts to outweigh a negative one! Neuropsychologist Dr. Rick Hanson states, “The mind is like Velcro for negative experiences and Teflon for positive ones.” I’m sure many of you can relate to this idea, but why is that our minds tend to remember the painful, negative experiences but not so much the joyous, happy moments? There’s actually a neurobiological answer that has to do with something called a “negativity bias.” At the University of Washington a study revealed how a negative experience remains wired into your brain more strongly than a positive one. In fact, it takes up to five positive experiences to outweigh a negative thought! Neurobiologists believe that this “negative bias” of the human brain was an evolutionary trait that helped early humans survive by allowing the brain to react to, remember, and recall life-threatening experiences. Imagine you were an early human chased by a lion; your brain would store that information into a neural net, recalling that memory as a survival mechanism. The lesson is that in order to experience authentic happiness, you actively have to focus on the positive to overcome the negative experiences in your life that your brain has imprinted into your consciousness. Learn more about how your psychology influences your biology in the“The Healing Power of Thought.”
“Just Breathe!” One of the simplest and most effective tools you have to alleviate stress and create more happiness in your life is to create some sacred, personal time in your day. I find that one of the easiest ways to do this is to focus on your breath for as little as five minutes a day. Dr. James S. Gordon, a clinical professor of psychiatry at the Georgetown University Medical School, states, “Slow, deep breathing is probably the single best anti-stress medicine we have.” You may be surprised to learn that doing mindful, calm breathing exercises for just five minutes a day can begin to shift your emotional and mental health. In the growing field of mind-body medical research, studies show that focusing on your breathing, specifically on the quality and state of your breath, might be the key to unlock your potential for health and happiness. Let’s face it, most of us do shallow breathing, i.e. not connecting our breath deep into the belly. Deep-belly breathing has now been shown in numerous studies to have a significant benefit on your neurophysiology, calming and soothing both your mind and body. When you connect and focus on your breath by taking deep and slow inhalations and exhalations, your nervous system and brain waves begin to come into balance and coherence. When your brain and body are in alignment you tend to cultivate the “four C’s” of calmness, contentment, caring and creativity. Watch the Self-Guided Breathing Video to learn how to alleviate stress and to experience greater happiness in your daily life.
As you begin 2012, a phrase to remember is that “happiness is not something that happens to you, but rather it is something you create.” I hope you enjoy integrating these five tips for happiness and wellbeing into your daily life. For those who would like to cultivate greater health and happiness in 2012, I invite you to join me at the Health, Wellness & Gourmet Living Retreat in the Loire Valley of France May 27-June 2, 2012. Enjoy a week of learning how to implement these tools into your life in the relaxing and healing French countryside with yoga, meditation, gourmet food and wine. Lastly, always remember that you are powerful, whole, amazing, and unique in every way. Never be afraid to let your light shine forth fully and brightly, for the world would be a much dimmer place without you in it! Keep on Living Your Light® in 2012!
Dr. Jay Kumar
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