HAPPY HOLIDAYS! As you enjoy and celebrate the exuberance and merriment of the Holiday Season, let’s face it the Holidays for many can also bring about the unwanted burden of stress and anxiety. Even the most calm, relaxed, organized, and centered of us can find it challenging to cope with all the family responsibilities, social obligations, and gift expectations of the season. We all could use a little extra help to maintain the Holiday cheer. Below are some helpful suggestions that I’ve shared over the years with my private clients and have taught to my college students as ways to experience greater joy and wellbeing in life. These proven and insightful tips from the growing fields of social neuroscience and positive psychology can help you continue that inner sense of Holiday joy and cheer in brain, body, and being!
Do you know what the number one Holiday stressor is? According to a study by Mental Health America, the number one stressor during the Holidays is money. It probably comes as no surprise to you that with the emphasis during the Holidays on buying gifts and the pressure to get that perfect present for a loved one, an extra dimension of stress can become compounded onto your already hectic life. During the Holidays 40% of Americans feel the extra financial burden and experience greater psychological and emotional stress. It is during these tough economic times that you might be additionally burdened with lack of means to celebrate the Holidays, as you once were accustomed. For some of you, this could mean cutting back on gifts for the kids, not having the money to visit your relatives, or quite possibly spending the Holidays literally without a home. All of these factors can make us feel unworthy or ashamed for not having enough. In turn, these feelings of unworthiness, guilt, and shame when left unchecked can lead to stress, anxiety, and depression!
The key to alleviating this financial Holiday stressor is to understand that generating happiness for self and others isn’t measured by higher price tags on a present or desiring more material objects. Instead, studies in neuroscience and psychology indicate that genuine, deep, and long-lasting happiness results not from “buying more, but from being more!” While we all agree that money has its purpose, more studies reveal that true wealth is not always monetary. In fact, economists who study the economics of happiness and quality of life point that better indicators to determine happiness might actually be psychologically, spiritually, and emotionally measured by the quality of your relationships, the richness of social bonds, and your greater purpose in life.
The reason why this might be the case has to do with recent findings in the brain that happiness actually comes in two distinct forms. This concept, now being backed by neuroscience, states that your brain distinguishes between what I call short-term versus long-term happiness. We now know that different parts of the brain are responsible for short versus long-term memory. In that same manner, recent discoveries into the structure and function of the human brain advance a similar notion between short-term versus long-term happiness.
Let’s put this in context of the traditional Holiday gift giving. Think about the time you received a beautiful piece of jewelry, the latest new tech gadget, or the trendiest popular video game. The moment you receive the new gift, your brain releases an immediate rush of the pleasure neurotransmitters dopamine, serotonin, and endorphins. You probably are aware, however, that the emotional rush and immediate feeling of euphoria you feel disappears rather quickly. Receiving Holiday gifts and experiencing that temporary and fleeting sense of joy is an aspect of your brain’s short-term happiness mechanism. While I’m not advocating in any way for you not to buy gifts for your family, friends, and loved ones, doing so doesn’t appear to achieve the deeper and more permanent state of long-term happiness.
There is, however, some good news. Amazing new research into mapping happiness in the brain indicates that another important neurotransmitter, oxytocin, is what neuroscientists suggest account for us to experience gratitude, compassion, empathy, trust, nurture, and genuine happiness. These studies suggest that one of the easiest ways to experience the release of oxytocin and to generate long-term happiness is through all aspects of social bonding. Some of the simplest and cost-free ways to generate the brain to release oxytocin is through laughing, singing, hugging, loving, and smiling, which pretty much sums up what the Holidays are all about, don’t you think?
So even if financial constraints don’t allow you to buy the perfect presents for everyone on your Holiday list this year, it turns out that the best and most precious gifts that create long-term happiness don’t cost a dime! Learn more helpful tips on how to stay happy and healthy these Holidays in my article “How to Be Happy During the Happy Holidays” or hear my recent podcast on the Doug Stephan Good Day Show on “Keeping the HAPPY in Happy Holidays”
Whether you celebrate Christmas, Hannukah, or simply revel in the Holiday Spirit, a phrase to remember is that “happiness is not something that happens to you, but rather it is something you create.” I hope you enjoy integrating these tips for happiness and wellbeing into your Holiday season.
Dr. Jay Kumar
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