Let’s start with the hidden power of language and your thoughts by exploring the wordresolution. When you break down this word, a resolution is in reality a re-solution When you re-solve to do something, you’re generally re-solving a problem or a situation. So if your New Year’s resolution sounds something like, “I re-solve to eat more properly, I re-solve to quit smoking, I re-solve to exercise more regularly, etc.” the underlying message is that you’re attempting to “solve a problem” in your life and judge aspects of yourself that you dislike. While I agree that wanting to manifest changes in your life are worthwhile, if you’re making them from an emotional and mental place of low self-esteem, self-judgment, and self-pity, it only makes it that much harder to continue with your goals and intentions for wanting greater health and happiness.
This idea of making resolutions from a psychological state of negative thinking connects to the other piece regarding your brain and emotions. The latest findings in neuroscience state that your brain is biologically wired to remember more negative thoughts and emotions over positive ones. The neuropsychologist, Dr. Rick Hanson, sums it up nicely by stating, “The mind is like Velcro for negative experiences and Teflon for positive ones.” I’m sure many of you can relate to this idea, but why is that your minds tend to remember the painful, negative experiences but not so much the joyous, happy moments? There’s actually a neurobiological answer that has to do with something called anegativity bias. At the University of Washington a study revealed how a negative experience remains wired into your brain more strongly than a positive one. In fact, it takes up to five positive experiences to outweigh a negative thought! So whenever you perceive aspects of your life as a problem, your consciousness automatically perceives them as negative or unwanted aspects of yourself that you have to rid in order to be perfect, happy, etc. This type of thinking only generates and perpetuates low self-esteem and feelings of unworthiness that in turn compound your attitude of failure and frustration. So it’s no wonder that you might lack commitment and abandon your hopes and dreams that you made with enthusiasm at the start of the New Year. So what’s the answer to stop your unhealthy thoughts of shame or guilt when it comes to making New Year’s resolutions in order to lead a more happy and healthy life?
I invite you to consider the possibility that rather than making a New Year’s re-solutionyou make a New Year’s re-intention for what you want to manifest in 2013! How does that sound to you? Say to yourself – “I’m making a New Year’s REINTENTION!” When you say this phrase, you set a positive intention to manifest change in your life by affirming aspects of your life that are currently working for you. By making a re-intention you focus on all the empowered positive choices you’ve already made, rather than on re-solving all the problems you believe exist in your life. In the same way that a re-solution "solves" a problem you don't like in your life, a re-intention "intends" a committment for you to change something in your life.
In the fields of cognitive psychology and neurolinguistics, the language and words that you use have a very powerful impact on how you act and how you live. In neuroscience, this concept is known as creating a neural network. The thoughts and words that you choose to believe about yourself rewire your brain physiology eventually creating a neural network that reinforces these patterns of consciousness. (Watch video of brain making a new thought) In essence, your thoughts literally influence your brain, body, and being! As the Buddha eloquently states, “We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts we make our world.” This quote is relevant to our discussion. When you shift your thoughts and language from a re-solutionto a problem to a re-intention to affirm change in your life, you in turn alter your consciousness from viewing your life as a series of pesky problems to one of joyous affirmations.
So here are two great exercises you can do. The first is to reword your New Year’s re-solutions into re-intentions. Taking the examples of resolutions I used earlier, you can rephrase them by saying, “I intend to continue being happy, healthy and to love myself in 2013 by eating more properly, by quitting smoking, and by exercising more regularly.” Can you feel a difference in the language in this new intention? The fundamental shift is that your re-intentions begin with your intention to the positive and joyous aspects of your life, which in turn make it easier to create the changes you want
The second tool, which addresses the negativity bias, is to make a list of five aspects or qualities in your life that you already do well. If you recall it can take up to five positive thoughts and emotions to outweigh an unhealthy one. I encourage you to have this list near you at all times by keeping it on your cell phone, in your wallet or purse, your bathroom mirror, on the fridge, or on your office desk. This is your “affimations” list, which will help alleviate any frustration and disappointment you might have as you move forward in your goals for 2012. Repeat these affirmations to yourself on a daily basis, or whenever you feel the need.
These exercises of rewording your resolutions to re-intentions and of creating your “affirmation list” help you to focus on those aspects of life that empower you, instead of shame or guilt you. In turn, cultivating more emotionally and mentally healthy thoughts creates the foundation for more transformation to occur in your life. In just a short time, you will quickly learn to use these newly created New Year’s re-intentions and begin the gradual steps to realize your goals. The key word here is gradual. Deep and profound change rarely happens instantly or overnight. So be patient and compassionate to yourself, knowing the great news is that you can continue manifesting your New Year’s re-intentions all throughout 2013! Watch the full video clip on Youtube here to learn more!
So if you’ve already broken your New Year’s resolutions, I’m here to tell you that there’s still hope. The answer for you to fulfill your dreams and goals for the year and beyond is to transform your New Year’s re-solutions to New Year’s re-intentions. Have a wonderful day and an amazing 2013 as you manifest genuine health and abundant happiness in Brain, Body, & Being!
Dr. Jay Kumar
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