Learning to Embrace Loss: Part One
Dear Friends,
Happy summer, everyone (or winter to my friends below the equator)! As always I hope this month's newsletter finds you enjoying and manifesting your full potential in life. It feels that recently many of us, myself included, are currently learning to deal with loss in some form. For you, it might be losing a dear family member, ending a relationship or marriage, your job, your home, or even the way of life you once knew. For me, loss is manifesting in the gradual departure of my best buddy Pico, a beloved 14.5 year-old golden retriever. I, therefore, wish to dedicate this and the next issue to all of you, or people you know, coping with loss and transition at this time. While loss is undoubtedly a painful and overwhelming process, there can actually be some valuable lessons learned from the experience. In part one of this series, I begin with some advice on how you can shift your attitude toward loss and hopefully view it in a new light.
The first step toward coping with loss is to view loss as change! You may wonder, "What's the difference?" I believe that change comes in two forms, as either a joyous experience that you embrace or as a painful process that you dread. Most of you would agree that certain life events, e.g. getting married, having a child, going to college, getting a new home, etc., are all happy and joyous moments in life. Looking more closely, all of these celebratory situations also take on a form of loss, e.g. loss of being single, loss of youth, or loss of an old way of life. On the other hand, the painful loss of a loved one, a relationship, or career brings grief and sadness.
So why is that we embrace the positive form of change but not when the change manifests as loss? Perhaps it is due to the innate human condition that views loss as something that causes uncertainty of the future over which we have no control. While we each experience loss in different ways, most of us react to loss through anger, grief, despair, frustration, or even denial. While all these emotions are valid in their own form, they are merely the ways in which we similarly react when life events seems out of control. Let's face it, for most the loss of a job, partner/spouse, pet, loved one, or a home is generally something that, despite how much we try, cannot be changed. The key phrase here is "cannot be changed!" If you can learn to shift the perception of loss to see it merely as just one form of change, the process of healing can begin as we transform our suffering into acceptance. I will explore this matter in next month's issue.
Again, the fundamental way to work through loss is to view it within the larger context of change. Both the good things in life that bring you joy (marriage, children, new relationship, job, etc.) and the challenging things that yield despair and suffering (death, divorce, unemployment, etc.) are in actuality just two sides of the same coin, known as change. The difference between the two is how we choose to view them and in the corresponding emotional labels of "good or bad" placed on them. In the same way that the change brought on by marriage and children is an opportunity for growth and expansion, I believe the same is true with loss. The key resides once you merely see loss for what it truly is-change.
In next month's issue I explore how suffering relates to loss and how to transform suffering into acceptance.
Even in this time of change, manifesting as loss, know that you have the power and the capacity to embrace loss with acceptance, faith, and trust that all will be well soon. I hope you enjoy the newsletter as you continue Living Your Light®. Please feel free to share with friends and family who could use the encouraging words in their time of loss.
Dr. Jay Kumar
Check out other great articles by signing up for the LIVING YOUR LIGHT® newsletter -
