DR. JAY KUMAR

Tip # 1 - “Gratitude is a Healthy Attitude”
Expressing gratitude for what you have, no matter how small it is, can also contribute to your greater health and happiness. In the past few years, scientists now recognize that gratitude is one of the most powerful and healthiest of human emotions. Studies at University of Miami, UC Davis, and Stanford University successfully demonstrate that remembering to be grateful for what you have in life can greatly outweigh any sadness, stress, or challenges you might currently experience. Further discoveries in neuroscience suggest that when you experience gratitude, the left pre-frontal cortex of the brain, an area that correlates to emotions of love and compassion, begins to activate. As I like to say, “Gratitude turns WHAT YOU HAVE into enough, creates contentment for WHAT IS, and manifests greater joy for WHO YOU ARE!” If you can’t express gratitude for what you already have, how can you expect to be grateful for all the prosperity and abundance that awaits you in the New Year! Read more in “How Gratitude Heals Your Brain, Body, & Being.”  

Tip # 3 - “Practice Compassion and Kindness”
As His Holiness the Dalai Lama often says, “If you want to be happy, make others happy!” In my piece “The Neuroscience of Health and Happiness" research into the human brain has discovered that we possess a peculiar thing known as a mirror neuron. Scientists know believe that these mirror neurons are the reason why humans, along with certain primates, elephants, dogs, and dolphins, are biologically wired to experience the emotions of others. Mirror neurons suggest that the human brain has evolved to experience both the pain and euphoria of others. It is this biological conditioning that may account for human empathy and compassion. Brain scans reveal that expressing more compassion and kindness helps you develop these mirror neurons, and it is this notion of compassion and empathy toward others that ultimately allows you to experience greater happiness and wellbeing on a daily basis. So the more kindness you practice toward people, the happier they become and the happier you become! Enjoy this True & Personal Holiday “Tail” about the power of human compassion and empathy we humans share with our pets.

Tip # 4 - “Keep Thinking Good Thoughts”
Did you know that it takes at least FIVE good thoughts to outweigh a negative one! Neuropsychologist Dr. Rick Hanson states, “The mind is like Velcro for negative experiences and Teflon for positive ones.” I’m sure many of you can relate to this idea, but why is that our minds tend to remember the painful, negative experiences but not so much the joyous, happy moments? There’s actually a neurobiological answer that has to do with something called a “negativity bias.” At the University of Washington a study revealed how a negative experience remains wired into your brain more strongly than a positive one. In fact, it takes up to five positive experiences to outweigh a negative thought! Neurobiologists believe that this “negative bias” of the human brain was an evolutionary trait that helped early humans survive by allowing the brain to react to, remember, and recall life-threatening experiences. Imagine you were an early human chased by a lion; your brain would store that information into a neural net, recalling that memory as a survival mechanism. The lesson is that in order to experience authentic happiness, you actively have to focus on the positive to overcome the negative experiences in your life that your brain has imprinted into your consciousness. Learn more about how your psychology influences your biology in “The Healing Power of Thought.”

Tip # 5 - “Just Breathe!” 
One of the simplest and most effective tools you have to alleviate stress and create more happiness in your life is to find some personal time in your day to focus on your breath. In “Breathe Your Way to Health & Happiness” one of the easiest ways to experience greater wellbeing is to engage in conscious breathing for as little as five minutes a day. Dr. James S. Gordon, a clinical professor of psychiatry at the Georgetown University Medical School, states, “Slow, deep breathing is probably the single best anti-stress medicine we have.” You may be surprised to learn that doing mindful, calm breathing exercises for just five minutes a day can begin to shift your emotional and mental health. In the growing field of “brain-body-being” research, studies show that focusing on your breath, specifically on the quality and state of your breath, might be the key to unlock your potential for health and happiness. Let’s face it, most of us do shallow breathing, i.e. not connecting our breath deep into the belly. Deep-belly breathing has now been shown in numerous studies to have a significant benefit on your neurophysiology, calming and soothing both your mind and body. When you connect and focus on your breath by taking deep and slow inhalations and exhalations, your nervous system and brain waves begin to come into balance and coherence. When your brain and body are in alignment you tend to cultivate the “four C’s” of calmness, contentment, caring and creativity. Watch my Self-Guided Breathing Video to learn how to alleviate stress and to experience greater happiness in your daily life and throughout the New Year. 

Dr. Jay Kumar

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As we commemorate the 10-year anniversary of 9/11, I hope that these "5 Empowering Lessons from 9/11" enable you to live more in wholeness, health, and abundance. As the famous American author, William Faulkner, once declared, “I believe that mankind will not merely endure: it will prevail. It is immortal, not because it alone among creatures has an inexhaustible voice, but because it has a soul, a spirit capable of compassion and sacrifice and endurance.” I truly believe that we humans, both individually and collectively, will not just survive from the tragedy of 9/11, but that we will thrive as a species as we dispel our petty differences and embrace our common humanity!

AWAKE & ENJOY!

Dr. Jay Kumar
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• Viewing Loss as Change – While we grieve over the tragic loss of life and even the loss of our way of life in the aftermath of 9/11, the first step toward our personal and planetary healing is to view loss as merely change. We must understand that everyone is unable to avoid change (in both its empowering and challenging forms). We always have some change and transformation always happening in our life. The only way to cope with loss in life is by accepting them merely as change. I believe that change comes in two forms, as either an empowering, joyous experience that you embrace or as a painful, traumatic process that you dread. So why do we embrace the positive form of change but not when the change manifests as loss? Perhaps it is due to the innate human condition that views loss as something that causes uncertainty of the future over which we have no control. While we each experience loss in different ways, most of us react to loss through anger, grief, despair, frustration, or even denial. While all these emotions are valid in their own form, they are merely the ways in which we similarly react when life events seem out of control. If you can learn to shift the perception of loss to see it merely as just one form of change, the process of healing can begin as we transform our suffering into acceptance. The fundamental way to work through loss is to view it within the larger context of change. In the same way that the change brought on by losing a job or loved one can eventually become an opportunity for growth and expansion, I believe the same is true with the loss we all experienced during 9/11. The key resides once we merely see loss for what it truly is–change. As the noted scientist and natural philosopher Charles Darwin once said, “It is not the strongest of the species
that survives, nor the most intelligent,
 but the one most responsive to change.”

• The Power of Choice – Every moment in our life, we have the power of choice. Do we use our power to act in love, compassion, tolerance, forgiveness, and trust or from a place of fear, distrust, anger, vengeance, and hatred? I believe that this lesson is the greatest one that 9/11 offers to us. While we initially reacted to the calamity of 9/11 with shock, anger, and the need for vengeance, the opportunity also existed to respond from a place of compassion and wisdom. A few months back I had the privilege of hearing His Holiness the Dalai Lama speak here in Los Angeles the day after Osama bin Laden was eliminated. Commenting on the event, the Dalai Lama said, “Forgiveness doesn't mean forget what happened…If something is serious and it is necessary to take counter-measures, you have to take counter-measures." I believe that His Holiness refers to the ability for us individually and collectively to take action when absolutely necessary, but also to hold compassion to the person or group who committed the act. In essence, we can extend compassion and forgiveness to the individuals behind 9/11, but not forget their actions nor allow them to happen again. As the Buddha famously preached, “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” 

• Healing Our Fear of “The Other” - In the case of Osama bin Laden, Hitler, or repressive dictators throughout history, they chose to act out from a place of fear toward those who held worldviews different from their own. Alternatively, there are those like Martin Luther King Jr., Mahatma Gandhi, and Mother Theresa who use their power to dispel fear and hatred and to cultivate tolerance and compassion. You may have observed that right after 9/11 and also in the past few month various religious figures and major media networks want us to live in fear of those who are of a different race, sexuality, nationality, political view, religion, etc. While there are some in our society who advocate labeling people “white/black/Asian/Latino,” “Christian/Muslim/,” “gay/straight,” “Republican/Democrat,” “Conservative/Liberal,” “American/Middle Eastern,” we just need to see each other as fellow human beings first and foremost. Everything else is secondary and is just a category into which we put other people. Interestingly, in many of the world’s languages the word “heal” is related to the word “whole.” When you live your life from a place of fear, you are also living from a place fragmentation. Thus, you are not living from a place of wholeness because you are not healed. On a collective level, the paradigm of fear and mistrust appear in our national need for control and domination in an “us” versus “them” worldview. What 9/11 offers us on our path toward personal healing and planetary wholeness is to release our fear of the unknown and of those who happen to live a different way of life. It is about celebrating human diversity and not seeing others way of life as a threat to our own. 

• The Power of the One Affects the Whole - A corollary to the two previous lessons is never to forget that your thoughts and actions influence others. If you choose to react and live in fear, anger, and hatred you give permission for others to do the same. However, if you choose to act from a place of authentic power, forgiveness, compassion, love, tolerance, and joy you also allow others to do the same. As more of us awake and realize the common bond that unites humanity, the more we become whole and healed. As more wholeness unfolds on the planet through our individual healing, all aspects of separation and fragmentation can no longer be tolerated, for us individually and collectively. The lessons from 9/11 provide each of us the ability to influence the greater whole. If we allow the events of 9/11 to have each of us live in fear, mistrust, and anger, we in turn give permission to those around us, especially to our children, to do the same. It is important to remember that children are not born to hate and to be racists or bigots; for these are attributes that they learn from their environment. However, if we recognize the power of choosing to live in trust, empowerment, and truth, we allow our children to learn and to live by our example. As Elizabeth Kubler-Ross says, “I believe that we are solely responsible for our choices, and we have to accept the consequences of every deed, word, and thought throughout our lifetime.” Basically, our collective worldview will change only when we change our individual view of the world. Again, it all boils down to knowing that your thoughts and actions do indeed influence the greater whole. 

 • Reevaluate Your Values – The final lesson that 9/11 imparts to us is to recognize what truly is of value in our life. When the planes went down on 9/11 and the people trapped in the World Trade Center knew the end was near, the cell calls they made weren’t about trivial matters but were about expressing love and gratitude to those they would never see again. While having a great job, a home, and financial security are ideals that our society prizes, they are not the real values that matter. Our family, friends, pets, nature, health, and happiness, and all that which money cannot buy are what truly matter at the end of the day. One of the common bonds uniting all humans on this planet is our mortality. The painful circumstances of 9/11 demonstrated that life is such a rare and precious gift.  In the Eastern traditions it is said that the key to health and happiness is not to mourn for the past, nor to worry about the future, but to live the present moment wisely and fully. For it is in this very moment when the abundance and beauty of life present themselves to us in all forms. As I like to say, “At the end of the day it’s not about how much of a living you made but about how much you lived!"

However you choose to mark the anniversary of 9/11, I hope that these lessons empower you to live more in wholeness, health, and abundance. As the famous American author, William Faulkner, once declared, “I believe that mankind will not merely endure: it will prevail. It is immortal, not because it alone among creatures has an inexhaustible voice, but because it has a soul, a spirit capable of compassion and sacrifice and endurance.” I truly believe that we humans, both individually and collectively, will not just survive from the tragedy of 9/11, but that we will thrive as a species as we dispel our petty differences and embrace our common humanity!

In remembrance and respect to all who were lost that day.

Sincerely,

Dr. Jay Kumar
www.drjaykumar.com
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His Holiness the Dalai Lama has a wonderful quote that encapsulates the nature of suffering. He says, "Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional." The point here is to recognize that suffering is different from pain. Knowing the distinction between pain versus suffering is an important aspect for our personal growth and wellbeing. 

I view pain as a physical condition and grief as its emotional correlate. Hitting our toe against the table causes physical pain, while the loss of a loved one can produce emotional grief. On the other hand, the cause of our suffering is self-inflicted and produced by our mind and thoughts over the event that initially caused the pain. In essence

Pain = Physical
Grief = Emotional
Suffering = Mental

Here's a personal and every day example that distinguishes between pain and suffering and that also illustrates the cause of suffering. A few weeks ago I spilled liquid on my laptop requiring me to take it in for what I dreaded would be a costly repair. I experienced the instant "pain" of that one action as panic in my body wondering if I had ruined my computer. My "suffering" was caused by incessantly mentally berating myself over my carelessness the next FIVE DAYS of not having a computer, even though there was NOTHING I could do to change the situation. 

While suffering is the product of how our mind chooses to respond to the pain, we each experience and respond to suffering in our own unique way such as anger, fear, anxiety, depression, etc. Even though suffering is a natural human response to pain, it is not physical but a mental condition that exists independently of pain. Paradoxically, we can suffer even after the pain has gone. Neuroscientists now believe that while most organisms feel pain, certain animals, e.g. elephants, primates, and dolphins, appear also to experience emotional grief. However, it is only humans that experience suffering! 

Suffering is also directly connected with change. If we recall from last month's article, loss is just merely a form of change that is part of life. Change is something that is an integral part of life and nature. The more we resist the inevitable force of change and the acceptance of change in our life, the more we suffer. There exists, then, a direct correlation between suffering and resistance that I express in the following equation.

Suffering = Resistance x Change.

Putting it more simply, suffering is just resistance to accepting change. Our suffering is, therefore, proportional to the degree to which we resist change. While change is constant and something that we may have no control over, we do have a choice to how much we resist change and, thus, how much we suffer. To the degree that we can embrace change, especially when it occurs as loss, the less our mental suffering becomes.

Readapting the Dalai Lama’s quote, I now say, “Change is inevitable, suffering is optional.”

Keep on Living Your Light® as you learn to embrace the flow and change in your life!

Dr. Jay Kumar

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Check out the podcast of today's debut radio show "AWAKE with Dr. Jay Kumar!" In this week's show -

• Hear what the Dalal Lama had to say about the justification for killing bin Laden.

• What neuroscience says about the nature of compassion and empathy

• How you can become more AWAKE in body, mind, heart, and spirit!

ENJOY AND AWAKE!

Dr. Jay Kumar