DR. JAY KUMAR

Like many of you, I was appalled and shocked to learn of the bombings at the Boston Marathon this past week. It is often a grim testament to humanity that a few people will choose to create social mayhem and elevate our fears at events such as these. Despite the ensuing horror and death that sadly take place during terrorist attacks, whether it’s in Boston or Baghdad, what always endures is the human spirit. While it’s often easy to be overwhelmed with a sense of futility and hopelessness about humanity in the wake of such horror, I can tell you there is indeed hope for humanity! The day after the Boston tragedy, I was giving a talk for students at my university on healing strategies we can use to help us cope in times of trauma. The first thing I mentioned was that humans are by nature a species grounded in compassion, kindness, and empathy. This is the reason why I often say, “It’s inevitable that the best of humanity will always emerge in the face of human horror.” This is precisely what we witnessed in Boston where humanity’s greater good prevailed in a time of darkness.

Humans are not driven by violent, aggressive, and selfish behavior. If that were true, it wouldn’t account for why hordes of bystanders, risking their own life, at the scene of the Boston tragedy immediately rushed out to help their fellow humans in need of medical attention. How else can you account for racers after having finished running a grueling 26 mile marathon, overcame fatigue and ran an extra two miles to donate blood at local hospitals! Contrary to what we are led to believe from our news and media outlets, humans are a powerfully compassionate and empathetic species. This often-ignored notion actually has a biological basis. All the studies coming out of neuroscience in the past few years suggest that the human brain is basically wired for compassion, empathy, and altruism and not for aggression, hatred, and self-interest. It is this very fact of the human condition that causes us to remain hopeful and for our greater humanity to endure in times of despair, as was the case in Boston.

There have been two startling discoveries about the human brain made in the past decade with regard to human behavior and compassion that directly apply in our capacity to cope with tragedy. The first is a term known as the empathic response, an evolutionary survival mechanism built into the human brain, which likely enabled humans to cooperate and survive in a harsh and hostile world. The other groundbreaking discovery is that the human brain possesses mirror neurons, which accounts for the reason why many of us will always rush to the aid of someone in danger or rejoice in hearing the wonderful news of others.

In essence, our brains are biologically wired to empathize and respond to both the suffering and joy of our fellow humans. For example, when you see a complete stranger fall down and cry out in pain, the same part of your brain fires as if you’re the one who fell and is in pain! Similarly, if you see a person laughing, the same part of your brain responsible for laughter lights up. Our brains mirror the experiences and feelings of others. In fact, it’s not just humans that possess this amazing ability. According to recent studies in neuroscience, the only other animals that have mirror neurons are our primate cousins, elephants, dolphins, and dogs! Additionally, it’s our empathic response, deeply seated in our biology, which accounts for the human capacity to feel compassion and makes us intrinsically averse to see others suffer or to inflict intentional harm to others.

You may be wondering, if all human brains have an empathic response and mirror neurons, why do some people harm, terrorize, and inflict pain onto others? Scans into the brains of criminals, violent people, and psychopaths indicate their brains might have underdeveloped mirror neurons and a low empathic response than in the brains of healthy humans. The bottom line is that mirror neurons can be developed in the brain, meaning that compassion and empathy are human qualities that can be acquired and cultivated in all of us!

In the university courses I teach on neuroscience and religion, I always remind my students that no child is ever born to be a racist, no person is ever born to hate. Anger, hatred, homophobia, racism, greed, and self-interest are qualities the human brain acquires that are taught to us by our society, media, family, and environment. All the research in neuroscience begins to point to one inevitable conclusion. In the same way that children can be taught to be violent, hateful, vindictive, selfish, and cruel, we can also teach our children compassion, empathy, love, and kindness. In light of the tragedy in Boston or similar events that happen around the world, one thing is for sure, every conscious choice of compassion can far outweigh any random act of cruelty and violence.

In the face of despair and hopelessness, human compassion always appears to be the solution. In fact, further research into the brain suggests that compassion and empathy are the two most powerful of emotions that help us cope in times of tragedy. When you act out of kindness and compassion, a part of your brain known as the pre-frontal cortex becomes more active. According to current theories of the brain, this region is responsible for our compassion, empathy, and moral behavior. Furthermore, the brain produces the chemical, oxytocin, whose levels directly correlate to one’s capacity to extend compassion and empathy. When scientists administered greater levels of oxytocin to human test subjects, there was an increased level of feeling joy, love, trust, and generosity toward strangers. Perhaps the best news about oxytocin is that it has been shown to lower stress, anxiety, and panic; boost the immune system; and foster the feelings of human connection and tolerance to others. One of the most effective ways to increase levels of oxytocin in the human body is through touch and social bonding. Hugging your children, cuddling with your loved one, and playing with your pet are just some of the simple and easy ways to boost oxytocin levels and, in turn, heal the stress and anxiety that ensue from tragedy.

What all the research in neuroscience is suggesting is that the simplest and most effective way to cope with feelings of despair, panic, fear, and hopelessness in the face of tragedy is to practice compassion and kindness to others!  It can be as easy as smiling at a stranger, saying an affirming word to a homeless person, or letting the car on the highway merge in front of you. These are all everyday simple and selfless acts you can do that eventually build compassion circuits in your brain. More importantly, they do the same for the other person who was the object of your actions. Ultimately, it all begins with you! Despite what you might believe, your every thought and action truly make a tremendous difference in the world. In the words of Mahatma Gandhi, “Be the change you want to see in the world!” 

To enjoy more videos, articles, and links on how we humans and our brains use compassion to cope with tragedy, check out the "COMPASSION & COPING WITH TRAGEDY" issue of the Dr. Jay Kumar newsletter. http://conta.cc/Zc6mx3

 

Dr. Jay Kumar
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Before you can truly love someone else, the first and most important thing is learning how to "Celebrate Love of Self!" With Valentine's Day just around the corner, enjoy the latest podcast with Dr. Jay Kumar  on the Doug Stephan Good Day Show exploring the nature of love, relationships, and happiness! In the words of the famous poet Rumi, "Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it."

Read the full blog article "Celebrating LOVE of SELF" and enjoy the "Your Brain, Love, & Romance" issue of my newsletter exploring why and how we fall in love!

Happy Valentine's Day!

Dr. Jay Kumar
www.drjaykumar.com
Facebook – Dr. Jay Kumar
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"How you choose to breathe determines how you choose to heal, to be, and live!" Learn what medical research affirmingly shows that shifting something as simple as your breath can transform your brain, heal your body, and create genuine happiness. Learn more in the latest podcast with Dr. Jay Kumar on the Doug Stephan Good Day Show. 

Catch all podcasts on my BLOG. 

Dr. Jay Kumar
www.drjaykumar.com
Facebook – Dr. Jay Kumar
Twitter - docjaykumar   

"How you choose to breathe determines how you choose to heal, to be, and live!" Learn what medical research affirmingly shows that shifting something as simple as your breath can transform your brain, heal your body, and create genuine happiness. Learn more in the latest podcast with Dr. Jay Kumar on the Doug Stephan Good Day Show. 

Catch all podcasts on my BLOG. 

Dr. Jay Kumar
www.drjaykumar.com
Facebook – Dr. Jay Kumar
Twitter - docjaykumar   

While we commemorate another anniversary of the 9/11 tragedy, many of us might be reliving the pain, anguish and grief that we experienced both individually and collectively on that life-altering day. However, as truly horrific the events of 9/11 were, they can also provide valuable lessons that enable us to grow, evolve and eventually to heal as people and as a planet. Below are five life-empowering lessons that I invite you to receive as we mark the events of that pivotal day in humanity’s history.

• Viewing Loss as Change – While we grieve over the tragic loss of life and even the loss of our way of life in the aftermath of 9/11, the first step toward our personal and planetary healing is to view loss as merely change. We must understand that everyone is unable to avoid change (in both its empowering and challenging forms). We always have some change and transformation always happening in our life. The only way to cope with loss in life is by accepting them merely as change. I believe that change comes in two forms, as either an empowering, joyous experience that you embrace or as a painful, traumatic process that you dread. So why do we embrace the positive form of change but not when the change manifests as loss? Perhaps it is due to the innate human condition that views loss as something that causes uncertainty of the future over which we have no control. While we each experience loss in different ways, most of us react to loss through anger, grief, despair, frustration, or even denial. While all these emotions are valid in their own form, they are merely the ways in which we similarly react when life events seem out of control. If you can learn to shift the perception of loss to see it merely as just one form of change, the process of healing can begin as we transform our suffering into acceptance. The fundamental way to work through loss is to view it within the larger context of change. In the same way that the change brought on by losing a job or loved one can eventually become an opportunity for growth and expansion, I believe the same is true with the loss we all experienced during 9/11. The key resides once we merely see loss for what it truly is–change. As the noted scientist and natural philosopher Charles Darwin once said, “It is not the strongest of the species
that survives, nor the most intelligent,
 but the one most responsive to change.”

• The Power of Choice – Every moment in our life, we have the power of choice. Do we use our power to act in love, compassion, tolerance, forgiveness, and trust or from a place of fear, distrust, anger, vengeance, and hatred? I believe that this lesson is the greatest one that 9/11 offers to us. While we initially reacted to the calamity of 9/11 with shock, anger, and the need for vengeance, the opportunity also existed to respond from a place of compassion and wisdom. A few months back I had the privilege of hearing His Holiness the Dalai Lama speak here in Los Angeles the day after Osama bin Laden was eliminated. Commenting on the event, the Dalai Lama said, “Forgiveness doesn't mean forget what happened…If something is serious and it is necessary to take counter-measures, you have to take counter-measures." I believe that His Holiness refers to the ability for us individually and collectively to take action when absolutely necessary, but also to hold compassion to the person or group who committed the act. In essence, we can extend compassion and forgiveness to the individuals behind 9/11, but not forget their actions nor allow them to happen again. As the Buddha famously preached, “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” 

• Healing Our Fear of “The Other” - In the case of Osama bin Laden, Hitler, or repressive dictators throughout history, they chose to act out from a place of fear toward those who held worldviews different from their own. Alternatively, there are those like Martin Luther King Jr., Mahatma Gandhi, and Mother Theresa who use their power to dispel fear and hatred and to cultivate tolerance and compassion. You may have observed that right after 9/11 and also in the past few month various religious figures and major media networks want us to live in fear of those who are of a different race, sexuality, nationality, political view, religion, etc. While there are some in our society who advocate labeling people “white/black/Asian/Latino,” “Christian/Muslim/,” “gay/straight,” “Republican/Democrat,” “Conservative/Liberal,” “American/Middle Eastern,” we just need to see each other as fellow human beings first and foremost. Everything else is secondary and is just a category into which we put other people. Interestingly, in many of the world’s languages the word “heal” is related to the word “whole.” When you live your life from a place of fear, you are also living from a place fragmentation. Thus, you are not living from a place of wholeness because you are not healed. On a collective level, the paradigm of fear and mistrust appear in our national need for control and domination in an “us” versus “them” worldview. What 9/11 offers us on our path toward personal healing and planetary wholeness is to release our fear of the unknown and of those who happen to live a different way of life. It is about celebrating human diversity and not seeing others way of life as a threat to our own. 

• The Power of the One Affects the Whole - A corollary to the two previous lessons is never to forget that your thoughts and actions influence others. If you choose to react and live in fear, anger, and hatred you give permission for others to do the same. However, if you choose to act from a place of authentic power, forgiveness, compassion, love, tolerance, and joy you also allow others to do the same. As more of us awake and realize the common bond that unites humanity, the more we become whole and healed. As more wholeness unfolds on the planet through our individual healing, all aspects of separation and fragmentation can no longer be tolerated, for us individually and collectively. The lessons from 9/11 provide each of us the ability to influence the greater whole. If we allow the events of 9/11 to have each of us live in fear, mistrust, and anger, we in turn give permission to those around us, especially to our children, to do the same. It is important to remember that children are not born to hate and to be racists or bigots; for these are attributes that they learn from their environment. However, if we recognize the power of choosing to live in trust, empowerment, and truth, we allow our children to learn and to live by our example. As Elizabeth Kubler-Ross says, “I believe that we are solely responsible for our choices, and we have to accept the consequences of every deed, word, and thought throughout our lifetime.” Basically, our collective worldview will change only when we change our individual view of the world. Again, it all boils down to knowing that your thoughts and actions do indeed influence the greater whole. 

 • Reevaluate Your Values – The final lesson that 9/11 imparts to us is to recognize what truly is of value in our life. When the planes went down on 9/11 and the people trapped in the World Trade Center knew the end was near, the cell calls they made weren’t about trivial matters but were about expressing love and gratitude to those they would never see again. While having a great job, a home, and financial security are ideals that our society prizes, they are not the real values that matter. Our family, friends, pets, nature, health, and happiness, and all that which money cannot buy are what truly matter at the end of the day. One of the common bonds uniting all humans on this planet is our mortality. The painful circumstances of 9/11 demonstrated that life is such a rare and precious gift.  In the Eastern traditions it is said that the key to health and happiness is not to mourn for the past, nor to worry about the future, but to live the present moment wisely and fully. For it is in this very moment when the abundance and beauty of life present themselves to us in all forms. As I like to say, “At the end of the day it’s not about how much of a living you made but about how much you lived!"

However you choose to mark the anniversary of 9/11, I hope that these lessons empower you to live more in wholeness, health, and abundance. As the famous American author, William Faulkner, once declared, “I believe that mankind will not merely endure: it will prevail. It is immortal, not because it alone among creatures has an inexhaustible voice, but because it has a soul, a spirit capable of compassion and sacrifice and endurance.” I truly believe that we humans, both individually and collectively, will not just survive from the tragedy of 9/11, but that we will thrive as a species as we dispel our petty differences and embrace our common humanity!

In remembrance and respect to all who were lost that day.

Sincerely,

Dr. Jay Kumar
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In the last blog, I discussed the powerful ways in which Nature heals and transforms us. The key resides in our brain being able to drop in to the healing and soothing brain wave state, known as Alpha waves. This issue explores exactly what the various brain waves are along with the deep and intimate connection between our human brain and body. You may have heard the phrases “Your psychology influences your biology,” or “You can think your way into disease.” Well, scientific research now validates much of the mind-body connection and deep understanding of how your brain waves are the key to your health and wellbeing. In the growing medical field of psycho-neuro-immunology (PNI), there appears to be a correlation between the various brain waves with one’s health and wellbeing. Let’s briefly explore the four brain waves and their function in our health.

At its most fundamental level the universe is merely energy that fluctuates and manifests at various frequencies. The same holds true for all living matter, including your brain, and some suggest even the human heart. (More on that in a later blog) The machine that measures brain waves is known as an Electro-Encephalo-Graph (EEG) and organizes the brain waves based on their wave-frequency in Hertz/sec. The four commonly accepted brain waves among scientists  are: Alpha, Beta, Theta, and Delta, with some suggesting another possible Gamma state.

The brain waves are further divided into “waking versus non-waking” states of consciousness. Beta and Alpha waves are produced when we are awake, while Theta and Delta during sleep. Beta waves are predominant when our mind requires focus, attention, and alertness. They are also produced when the brain is in high stress or “fight-or-flight” mode, in turn, triggering adrenalin and cortisol into the body for survival. We experience Alpha waves, on the other hand, when our mind and body are awake yet calm and relaxed. Think of the difference you feel when stuck in a traffic jam late for your flight or relaxing on the beach hearing the waves and watching the sunset. In the first scenario, your brain is functioning in Beta waves, while in the latter in Alpha. The other two brain waves, Theta and Delta, are generally found when we are asleep, although there appear to be exceptions to this observed in the waking state of deep meditation or conscious breathing. Generally, the brain produces Theta waves during light sleep and when we dream, while Delta waves are found in deep, dreamless sleep.

So what then is the connection between these four brain wave states with our health and wellbeing. The answer resides in allowing all four brain-wave states to be in balance and equally manifest throughout our day. Unfortunately, our fast paced, technologically driven lifestyle creates a disruption in this important harmony. When our brains and bodies are in constant stress and amped up due to the fast-paced, caffeine-addicted, plugged-in, multi-tasking life that we have created, we spend our day predominantly in a Beta-wave state. Furthermore, Beta-waves are accompanied with the release of cortisol, the stress-hormone that eventually may lead to chronic anxiety, illness and disease. The famous Stanford neurobiologist Dr. Robert Sapoltsky’s enlightening book Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers, observes that in the animal kingdom those animals that are prone to aggression, anger, and violence, due to an increase in cortisol and adrenaline, are also the ones with the weakest immune systems. (Watch video here) It now appears that the same observations are found in our human biology. When we are constantly in stress, anxiety, anger, fear, or worry, our immune system and health are considerably weakened.

 

The good news is that Alpha waves can counter the chronic harm of being in continual Beta-wave states. Alpha waves produce beta-endorphins, dopamine, and serotonin, neurotransmitters that enable us to become relaxed, calm, and centered during the stress experienced throughout our day. When the alpha and beta waves are equally in balance throughout our waking day, we experience psycho-physiological coherence, a deep and profound state of integration of the body and brain. The longer we can remain in psycho-physiological coherence, the stronger our immune system becomes enabling us to be whole and healthy. So how can we experience more Alpha to balance out the Beta-waves in our daily life? The answers can be as simple as being in Nature, making love, laughter, deep-breathing, or meditation. (Watch Video to Learn How)

 

The important thing is to cultivate balance in your day between work, rest, and play. The human brain, thus, can be a very valuable organ in our quest for a healthy body, mind, and spirit! As Dr. W. Ross Adey, of the Brain Research Institute at UCLA, says, “The ultimate creative capacity of your brain may be, for all practical purposes, infinite.” I refine this statement by saying, “The ultimate HEALING capacity of your brain may be, for all practical purposes, infinite!”

 

Keep on LIVING YOUR LIGHT® in balance of brain and of body.

 

Dr. Jay Kumar
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“It is not the strongest of the species
that survives, nor the most intelligent,
but the one most responsive to change.” Charles Darwin

In this popular episode of “AWAKE with Dr. Jay Kumar” on Good Day with Doug Stephan, learn the reasons why we fear change and what you can do to adapt to change. AWAKE & Enjoy!

Dr. Jay Kumar
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Change is one of the most challenging aspects of life, especially when change manifests suddenly or unexpectedly as loss, a matter I’ve blogged about in previous posts. (Read more here) Specifically, fear of change or feeling out of control amidst change is a topic that I find myself often exploring with clients. As the noted scientist and natural philosopher Charles Darwin once said, “It is not the strongest of the species
that survives, nor the most intelligent,
but the one most responsive to change.” No matter how fit or strong you are physically, it is your mental and psychological ability to adapt and respond to change that is the most important survival tool in life.

Before exploring how you can deal with the fear of change, let’s briefly talk about the emotion of fear. Neuroscience advocates that fear is a natural evolutionary product of our collective biology that we inherited from our early human ancestors. Fear was a survival mechanism that protected us from real and immediate threats. Even though most humans now live in a world relatively free from constant danger, our brains are incapable of distinguishing between real versus perceived fear. For example, you experience “fight or flight” fear when your life is truly at risk, e.g. think of being chased by a lion in the African savannah. Contrarily, the fear of public speaking or of confronting your boss for a raise is a self-inflicted perceived fear of a future, non-imminent situation. While “fight or flight” fear is an autonomic biological response that is real and crucial for survival, all other types of perceived fear are self-created and, therefore, can be controlled. In essence, there’s a difference when your life is truly at risk and when you’re taking a risk. Our neurobiology makes it difficult, but not impossible, for many of us to harness the primal areas of our brain that produce biological fear. However, the good news is that perceived and self-created fear appears to be a product of our higher cognitive brain that, with practice, we can more readily tame. Fear of change, which falls into the latter category, is something we fortunately have the power to manage.

So why, then, do we fear change? I believe the answer is that change creates the perception that we have no control of our life. It is the dread of not being in control that we really fear, which in turn produces the accompanying anxiety and stress. While many of us might enjoy the status quo and feel complacent in a life without change, we must understand that change is the fundamental rule of nature. Your cells, skin, hair, and nails change regularly to keep your bodies healthy and strong. The seasons in nature change annually to produce new life and food on the planet. Therefore, change is literally within and all around helping us and all life on the planet to thrive. Basically, without change life would perish.

So how can you cope with your fear of change? Here are some tools that you might find helpful.

1)    The first step to control your fear of change is your ability to view it as an inherent part of your life. In a previous post, I mentioned that “Suffering = Resistance to Change.” (Read more here) The more you resist change in your life, the more anguish you experience.

2)    Another handy tool is to re-conceptualize the word “change” with other terms. Words such as growth, renewal, evolution, or transformation are all synonyms for change. What those words have in common is the underlying and inherent principle of change.

3)    Another key to embracing change is to practice mindfulness and to focus your thoughts on the present moment. (Read more here) Doing so allows your thoughts and consciousness not to dwell on the unknown future, but rather on the “here and now.”

4)    Deep-belly breathing is another scientifically proven method to alleviate the emotion of fear and the physical sensations that accompany it. (Watch breathing video here)  Remember, fear is just a form of energy. As energy can never be destroyed but merely transformed from one state to another, your fear can also be transformed. I strongly believe that fear is nothing more than excitement without the breath.

5)    Another effective tool that I personally use and highly encourage to my clients is to make a daily affirmation. While it can be anything that you find helpful, I regularly use the following, “I live my day as I embrace change as part of my life. I am powerful and have the strength to create the life that I wish. I know that the universe (God) is conspiring for my greatest good and happiness!” 

On a final note, when your fear of change is not properly checked, it can manifest in unhealthy ways in your life. Not only are there physical dangers of living constantly in a state of fear, but there are also emotional and psychological concerns when you fear change. On an individual level, you may react to change with resistance, anger, and violence toward yourself and even toward the world. On a national and political level, when a society or a culture fears change, it often leads to war, violence, and acts of terror. I venture to say that many of the terrorist acts we witness of late are the result of those who fear the massive changes happening in society and who choose to respond from a place of anger and hatred . I’ll discuss more of this in a later post.

Again, the key to your finding harmony and peace in life is to embrace the fundamental law of nature that everything changes. How you choose to respond to life’s changes, either with fear and resistance or with acceptance and flow, is the key to your health and wellbeing. The more you can embrace the power of change in your life and not fear it, the more we all will thrive as individuals, a culture, and a planet. To rephrase Darwin’s original quote with an example in nature, the bamboo that has the ability to bend is much stronger and endures longer than the oak that resists!

Keep on Living Your Light® as you learn to embrace the flow and change in your life!

Dr. Jay Kumar
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