Change is one of the most challenging aspects of life, especially when change manifests suddenly or unexpectedly as loss, a matter I’ve blogged about in previous posts. (Read more here) Specifically, fear of change or feeling out of control amidst change is a topic that I find myself often exploring with clients. As the noted scientist and natural philosopher Charles Darwin once said, “It is not the strongest of the species
that survives, nor the most intelligent,
but the one most responsive to change.” No matter how fit or strong you are physically, it is your mental and psychological ability to adapt and respond to change that is the most important survival tool in life.
Before exploring how you can deal with the fear of change, let’s briefly talk about the emotion of fear. Neuroscience advocates that fear is a natural evolutionary product of our collective biology that we inherited from our early human ancestors. Fear was a survival mechanism that protected us from real and immediate threats. Even though most humans now live in a world relatively free from constant danger, our brains are incapable of distinguishing between real versus perceived fear. For example, you experience “fight or flight” fear when your life is truly at risk, e.g. think of being chased by a lion in the African savannah. Contrarily, the fear of public speaking or of confronting your boss for a raise is a self-inflicted perceived fear of a future, non-imminent situation. While “fight or flight” fear is an autonomic biological response that is real and crucial for survival, all other types of perceived fear are self-created and, therefore, can be controlled. In essence, there’s a difference when your life is truly at risk and when you’re taking a risk. Our neurobiology makes it difficult, but not impossible, for many of us to harness the primal areas of our brain that produce biological fear. However, the good news is that perceived and self-created fear appears to be a product of our higher cognitive brain that, with practice, we can more readily tame. Fear of change, which falls into the latter category, is something we fortunately have the power to manage.
So why, then, do we fear change? I believe the answer is that change creates the perception that we have no control of our life. It is the dread of not being in control that we really fear, which in turn produces the accompanying anxiety and stress. While many of us might enjoy the status quo and feel complacent in a life without change, we must understand that change is the fundamental rule of nature. Your cells, skin, hair, and nails change regularly to keep your bodies healthy and strong. The seasons in nature change annually to produce new life and food on the planet. Therefore, change is literally within and all around helping us and all life on the planet to thrive. Basically, without change life would perish.
So how can you cope with your fear of change? Here are some tools that you might find helpful.
1) The first step to control your fear of change is your ability to view it as an inherent part of your life. In a previous post, I mentioned that “Suffering = Resistance to Change.” (Read more here) The more you resist change in your life, the more anguish you experience.
2) Another handy tool is to re-conceptualize the word “change” with other terms. Words such as growth, renewal, evolution, or transformation are all synonyms for change. What those words have in common is the underlying and inherent principle of change.
3) Another key to embracing change is to practice mindfulness and to focus your thoughts on the present moment. (Read more here) Doing so allows your thoughts and consciousness not to dwell on the unknown future, but rather on the “here and now.”
4) Deep-belly breathing is another scientifically proven method to alleviate the emotion of fear and the physical sensations that accompany it. (Watch breathing video here) Remember, fear is just a form of energy. As energy can never be destroyed but merely transformed from one state to another, your fear can also be transformed. I strongly believe that fear is nothing more than excitement without the breath.
5) Another effective tool that I personally use and highly encourage to my clients is to make a daily affirmation. While it can be anything that you find helpful, I regularly use the following, “I live my day as I embrace change as part of my life. I am powerful and have the strength to create the life that I wish. I know that the universe (God) is conspiring for my greatest good and happiness!”
On a final note, when your fear of change is not properly checked, it can manifest in unhealthy ways in your life. Not only are there physical dangers of living constantly in a state of fear, but there are also emotional and psychological concerns when you fear change. On an individual level, you may react to change with resistance, anger, and violence toward yourself and even toward the world. On a national and political level, when a society or a culture fears change, it often leads to war, violence, and acts of terror. I venture to say that many of the terrorist acts we witness of late are the result of those who fear the massive changes happening in society and who choose to respond from a place of anger and hatred . I’ll discuss more of this in a later post.
Again, the key to your finding harmony and peace in life is to embrace the fundamental law of nature that everything changes. How you choose to respond to life’s changes, either with fear and resistance or with acceptance and flow, is the key to your health and wellbeing. The more you can embrace the power of change in your life and not fear it, the more we all will thrive as individuals, a culture, and a planet. To rephrase Darwin’s original quote with an example in nature, the bamboo that has the ability to bend is much stronger and endures longer than the oak that resists!
Keep on Living Your Light® as you learn to embrace the flow and change in your life!
Dr. Jay Kumar
www.drjaykumar.com
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